At the gym today, I worked out next to a lovely young lady in recovery who has recently become a single mom.
We spoke a little about how going through hardships now is so different than when we were in our disease. We spoke about how powerful grace can be and how amazed we are when our actions reflect the principles of the program rather than the chaos of our former selves. But the most valuable part of the conversation was how we are learning to honor our children.
What does that mean, to honor our children? For me, what is being revealed is how to love my children for who they are rather than who I want them to be. This hasn't come easily for me. I am a raging co-dependent and often find myself uncomfortable when my children don't say or do the things I think they should.
Recently I was rewarded with seeing my son for the amazing, separate, unique young man that he is. It was a moment when I felt myself ease up on him and received a moment of grace by laughing at his quirky and very funny joke. Since then, I have started to see that my son is really a very funny person and although it is a different sense of humor, it is good. I see, too, that his quirkiness doesn't bother others the way it bothers me, they are much more accepting and appreciative of him and they are offering me an opportunity to see how I can work toward being the mom I want to be.
I have a long way to go, but I am making progress and my son is feeling my pressure on him ease up too. This is going to be good for all of us.
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